Love is such a powerful thing and most times the word love is misused and people get hurt, betrayed and broken-hearted. What I can assure you is when you put your pure hearted loving self out there great things will return even when your heart gets broken.

I’ve recently gotten an email from a reader asking me how to get over a break-up of eight years. She said that he didn’t want to commit (marriage) so she decided to give him an ultimatum, all or nothing. This is the advice I’d like to give her or anyone of you that’s going through something like this.

 Ask yourself these questions:

Is he marriage material? Does he have all the qualities I want in a husband?

Did I always stand behind this person one hundred percent no matter what or did I try to change them but rather than to try to help that person grow.

Did I threaten that person when I didn’t get my way, put them down for my own selfish reasons.

Did you love most of the things he/she loved because you knew how important they were to that person?

Did you give your all till the end.

Did you get on your knees and pray?

If you know in your heart you’ve done all these things you will be alright I promise you. If you didn’t you’ll still be alright, you’ll just find someone like you and will end up doing the same things to you that did to your ex.  So work on loving yourself first so you can give someone the pure love that you want in return. Trust me I know.

On to how to get over a break-up. First I want to say that I admire anyone with enough courage and strength to walk away from something that you truly love because you know what you deserve more. 

• MUSIC ~ music gives me strength. I can remember going through so many rough times in my life and music has gotten me through. For break-up music I use to love 1. Usher- simple things in life we forget and burn, 2. Jahiem – diamond in the rough,  3. Donell Jones – he won’t hurt you again, 4. Musiq – Love, 5. Keisha Cole – gotta get my heart back, 6. Beyonce Me, myself and I, 7. Fantasia – don’t talk to me. I can go on and on and make a playlist of my favorite songs. Seems depressing I know, but it’s important to soak in your pain and accept it in your heart in order to move on. I suggest you doing this no longer than a week because it can get unhealthy. Don’t worry there’s more steps.
• FAMILY ~ Take a road trip with your mom, your aunt, your best friend… just go and be around those that love you. Be around someone who won’t mind if you get sad occasionally. If you have kids take them out and just do things to make others smile. 
• WINE ~ one glass in the evenings will do if not, TYLENOL PM does the trick. This helps with the sleepless nights, it’s time to get out of that rut and get yourself back on track. Do this for as long as you need too. Hopefully no longer than 2 weeks. I don’t want you getting any meds from the doc ladies.
• THE BEACH ~ the beach is where I go to talk to God all by myself. It’s so much peace there. It will bring you comfort I promise.
• DO SOMETHING NICE FOR SOMEONE IN NEED ~ when we do this we start to reflect on ourselves and become a more compassionate person. We also see that we are complaining and sulking when life isn’t that bad. It may not go the way we want it to go, but life is pretty good. You lived to see another day.
• DON’T CALL HIM ~ it’s important not to call him. No drunk-in nights with your friend and you call crying saying F you. He will know you still care, even though you do he needs to think IT’S OVER! Chances are if you are the good girl that gave your all, he won’t want anyone else to scoop you up (because you are incomparable) so let his ass wonder by staying far away… and when he does decide to come back hopefully it isn’t to late, and in that case he will live to regret it. Win Win! 
• FORGIVE HIM ~ you don’t know what issues he has for not committing. It could be his childhood we don’t know. Don’t judge him. If he doesn’t come around, save a little pice of him in you and when he crosses your mind send him light and love.

Lastly, God doesn’t put more on you that you can not bare. If you don’t get back together take this time to find yourself and be alone. You never know what GOD has in store for you. Know that He has you back because you are HIS princess, trust that the universe will send you great things because you are great to others.  After all this you will begin to have hope again soon. Good luck babes.

Tip of the day: Don’t let this situation change who you are. Continue to LOVE, giving your all… Wearing: Ruffled Romper, Christian Louboutin Heels, Dior White Bag.